Domestic Violence in Childhood: A Survivor’s Story

As part of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Narc Free Living is giving survivors a platform to share their stories.

Listen here! https://www.spreaker.com/user/12992213/moremi-radio-broadcast-10-07-2020-shanno

The broadcast aired live on Dr. Moremi’s Radio Show on Big Gospel Xpress WBGX Chicago 1570 AM.

A Survivor’s Story

The story read is from a young man who has the courage and the strength to share his story. He witnessed his mother physically and psychologically abused at the hands of his father.  The abuse affected him throughout his life in many ways, until he awakened to the fact that there was a better way to live.

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is most commonly thought of as intimate partner violence, but can also include violence or abuse from a family member.

The term “intimate partner violence” includes the following acts as inflicted or caused by a current or former intimate partner: it is not limited to physical abuse!

• Actual or threats of physical violence
• Actual or threats of sexual violence
• Emotional or psychological abuse (e.g., verbal abuse, constant arguing, cheating, neglecting emotional needs, name-calling, or putdowns)
• Stalking (e.g., excessive calls/texts/emails, monitoring daily activities, using technology to track a person’s location)
• Financial abuse (e.g., withholding money, stealing from, ruining credit, stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job)

Domestic violence includes emotional abuse. It is NOT only physical abuse. Abuse is damaging pathologically, psychologically, and physiologically. It damages those who experience it firsthand AND those who bear witness to the abuse.

Abuse changes you.

Children who witness abuse are survivors too.

To this young man, THANK YOU. Thank you for having the courage, to tell the truth, and to share your experience. We hope others understand the impacts of witnessing, hearing, or knowing that your parent or loved one is abused has on profound effects on children, in particular. Children need security. Abuse in ANY FORM includes incessant arguing – a form of emotional abuse. A volatile home threatens a child’s sense of security and alters their life’s path. Recovery is possible!

Men need safe spaces too.

Many have been abused sexually, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and will never release that account. It is buried too deep. The shame and guilt of abuse are not yours to bear. I pray that you find a licensed therapist to help you unpack what happened to you. There is healing in transparency and allowing God to heal you from the inside out. You are not the person that you have the potential to become as long as you live in silence & secrecy.

Abuse is debilitating to all involved.

I pray that those in abusive situations understand that staying in a two-parent home, “for the sake of the children”, that is abusive will impact your child/children in ways that you cannot begin to understand. Turn to God and ask Him for a way of escape. You do not deserve the abuse and your children do not deserve their parent being abused. God does not want anyone abused. That is not God’s plan for your life. Trust in Him to be your provider. He IS Jehovah Jireh.

If you are an abuser, albeit emotionally, verbally, spiritually, sexually, financially, psychologically – MAN or WOMAN – turn from your wicked ways. Abusers and narcissists may fool everyone around them, but they cannot fool God. He will not be mocked. Those who turn a blind eye and enable abusers will be held accountable for their inaction as well.

Abusers are on a path to hell as they will not see the Kingdom of Heaven God unless you accept Jesus Christ. You must be born again. Ask God to come into your heart. Admit that you need His help to live righteously. Repent and turn from your evil ways. You may believe you are getting away with abuse, however, Jehovah God sees & knows ALL. He will judge accordingly. Repent and turn from evil.

Break the chains!

God’s Word on abuse.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Psalm 11:5 The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

Proverbs 22:10Drive out a scoffer and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.