Narcissist Abuse
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Have A Question? Ask Me On Wisio!
Do you have a question about narcissist abuse?
Do you believe you are with a narcissist?
Would you like an answer specifically for you and your situation?
This service is designed for those who may be not ready for one-on-one coaching and would like a response to a burning question.
There are several choices to choose from:
Kings Speaks Q & A
This service is specifically for my brothers! Do you have a question? Is something on your mind that you need assistance with or would like a woman’s perspective on?
Help Me!
Do you need help getting out of a narcissist relationship of any kind? You may already discern that you are dealing with a narcissist. Let me know the details about your situation.
You’ll receive a personalized video response along with guidance on where to start. I’ll explain what to expect and more importantly how to break – and stay narc free.
Are you feeling weak? Need support?
Now that you understand what you’re dealing with, before we can do anything about it, we need to understand what it is that is really holding you back.
Please share with me, honestly, what you think it is, and I’ll send you back a personalized video with how to address those weaknesses.
Healing Q & A
We are healing at different paces. Each journey is uniquely designed.
Are you in the midst of your healing journey? Feeling triggered? Received a hoover? Feeling stuck?
Share where you are and I’ll send a video response back to you.
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Sometimes we need help and don’t know where to turn.
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Disclaimer: This is not to diagnose or take the place of a mental health professional. I do not diagnose but I do discern!
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Strategies To Defeat The Narcissist!
Let’s discuss ways to defeat the narcissist!
Understand that we are playing on the enemy’s turf.
1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.
The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is his name. – Exodus 15:3 NIV
The Word says that the Lord is a warrior, and this means that He is the one who gives warriors the strategies to win in battle.
What does that make us?!
Warriors!
Understand that you have an opponent
Failure to see the narcissist for who and what they are keeps YOU at a great disadvantage.
You cannot be in a war and not armor up.
This is how Jezebel works: Jezebel will always come after the true prophet. She uses the Delilah spirit to charm and disarm, to learn your strengths and weaknesses. They get next to you and learn all about you only to use it against you in the spiritual realm. They work in the spiritual realm the entire time and you are working in the natural. They attempt to drive you to the brink of insanity, through witchcraft, seduction, manipulation, deception, confusion, pretension, Python, Leviathan, & many demonic spirits.
Understand that you have the authority in Christ.
Watch this video to understand how we armor up!
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Narcissists & The Spirit of Whoredom!
Let’s discuss how narcissists entice you into:
- Unfaithfulness
- Adultery
- Chronic dissatisfaction
- The Love of money
- Idolatry
- Fornication
- Prostitution
- Gluttony
- Eating disorders
- Worldliness
Hosea 5:4 They will not frame their doings to turn unto their God: for the spirit of whoredoms is in the midst of them, and they have not known the Lord.
Hosea 4:12 My people inquire of a piece of wood, and their walking staff gives them oracles. For a spirit of whoredom has led them astray, and they have left their God to play the whore.
Leviticus 19:29 Do not prostitute thy daughter, to cause her to be a whore; lest the land falls to whoredom, and the land becomes full of wickedness.
Leviticus 20:5 Then I will set my face against that man, and against his family, and will cut him off, and all that go a whoring after him, to commit whoredom with Molech, from among their people.
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Shannon’s Recommended Reading List https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/YRQE88PMTLAL?ref_=wl_share
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Here’s the video link! https://youtu.be/LIrSuA06jlE
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Narcissists & Betrayal
Narcissist & Betrayal
A narcissist is a person who is extremely indulged in self-love. A narcissist is a selfish, self-centered person. He needs an excessive need for attention and admiration. They have disturbed interpersonal relationships.
Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are betrayal-masters. The betrayal is only a matter of sport for them & for others, it is severe psychological, emotional, spirit,ual and mental damage.
Betrayal is something more painful than cheating. It’s a false representation of someone’s intention. Any type of loss in a relationship is painful but in the case of betrayal, it’s more excruciating.
People throughout the world are silently abused by narcissists. A narcissist has an exceptional ability to seek sympathy and security from people surrounding them.
Sadly, few of us cant spot a narcissist in our relationships. People keep themselves hurting throughout their lives.
What does God’s word say?
1 Corinthians 13:4-84 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
Here are a few points that will help you to spot the narcissism in your spouse.
What are the signs of a narcissist?
From a psychological perspective, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition. The person is involved in the extreme need for attention and a sense of self-importance. Narcissists seek validation from others. They have superficial relationships and lack empathy. From a spiritual perspective, narcissists are demonic scoffers.
2nd Peter 3:3 warns us that “in the last day’s scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires.”
They said to you, “In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.”
3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, …
Let’s highlight a few signs of narcissist that can help you to spot narcissism.
- They are highly insecure
They are highly insecure, so they look for others to fulfill them.
Narcissists look for security. It’s not personal to them but it’s highly personal to victims of narcissist abuse.
They have an incomplete and unbalanced personality therefore they need someone to complete them.
They are takers, they always search for those who are givers. They don’t have the limitation of how much they will take from a person?
They look for everything they inherently don’t have. They are in survival mode all the time on the hunt.
- Exaggerated need of validation
A narcissist needs a constant need of attention and validation. They are the predators some more, some less, this is why they cheat.
They want to keep their partner engage by asking for the things or keep something to grab your attention.
They seek people to surround them. They think the more people they surround the more backup they have in case if someone leaves.
Their formula of attention is quite simple. More numbers more security, more security. It makes them wanted and needed all the time.
Despite all their bragging and boasting or grandiose, they are insecure. The narcissist needs an unstoppable supply of praise and approvals from others.
- Lack of empathy
The narcissist has a lack of empathy. They don’t care about how the other person feels. A narcissist lacks the skill of making others validated, accepted, or understood.
The means of an overflow of narcissist supply is significant in their behaviors.
If you as a victim try to give them the silent treatment, they are entertaining and talking about you to others.
They keep speaking with others while you speak with no one. Because you are trying to figure out, what happened?
- They are egocentric
A narcissist is an egocentric person. They don’t feel ashamed or guilty of what they have done with others.
They don’t even think of themselves for the emotional and psychological damage they have done to others.
Ego strokes their false self must always be stroked and catered to.
Leaving the people helpless, shattered, and devastated is part of their game.
- They are horrible with finances
A narcissist is a predator. They search for anyone who can not only bear their ugly personalities but their dirty finances too.
They trap people with their charming personalities and ambidexterity.
Ways A Narcissist betray their partner
A relationship with a narcissist is a fairy tale in beginning. Over time, a narcissist starts showing their true colors.
The past dream dates become the worst nightmare. Anyone can be a victim of narcissist abuse, but individuals with emotional abuse and trauma fall for them.
Betrayal is a part of a narcissist personality. A narcissist can stop himself from betrayal. After all, the abuse and betrayal flow in their blood.
There are few ways, a narcissist can betray you. Have a look
- Pornography
- Triangulation
- Lying them to others
- Betraying your secrets to others
- Infidelity
The people who experience betrayal by their narcissist partner face different mental and social pressures.
The betrayal leads to certain health and emotional traumas. One of the major issues is CPTSD.
Summary
Betrayal whether from a family member, a friend, or an intimate partner causes a dramatic breach of trust. When a spouse or partner betrays you they are creating a soul tie with the external partner that you will have to contend with.
The shocking turn of events disrupts our lives, compromises our safety, and overwhelms us.
The betrayal is not the reflection of your character, it’s a sign of their character.
Remember, narcissists, are always in numbers. Their goal is to collect people on their side, so you feel alone and more betrayed by others.
Just keep yourself focused, cool and calm. No one on the earth is allowed to make you unhappy or shattered.
Staying connected to your loved ones is the best therapy. We only live once, make the most of our life. Be a reason for someone’s happiness.
Watch this video as we discuss the narcissist from a biblical perspective and how to overcome to truly break those chains.
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Feature Article: How To Spot Narcissist Abuse & How To Break Free
How To Spot Narcissistic Abuse And Free Yourself
Author & Advocate: Shannon Savoy
Please check out this week’s feature article in Safe Speaks on “How To Spot Narcissist Abuse & How To Break Free.”
If you believe you are a victim of narcissist abuse, or you are not quite sure, this article is for you. Also, if you just want to learn more so that you & your loved ones know the signs & that you are more aware, this is for you as well.
Let’s break those chains!
Safe Speaks is a digital safe space for gender-based violence awareness, advocacy, empowerment, and healing. Safe Speaks is coordinated by Ms. Edith Mecha, creative writer, social science researcher, and civic change advocate.
Read the article here:
https://safespeaks.org/2021/03/16/how-to-spot-narcissistic-abuse-and-free-yourself/
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Do you know the signs of a narcissistic mother?
A narcissistic parent grooms their child for a lifetime of psychological & emotional issues that stem from years of conditioning and grooming. Children of narcissistic mothers are gaslit and under the spell of the mother’s charm and web of deceit. They often are in an emotionally incestuous relationship and unhealthily enmeshed, not knowing what’s true and who they are.
Bear in mind that there’s a difference between narcissistic behavior (which only comes out every now and then) and narcissism, which is a clear pattern of emotional & psychological abuse. In high stress and high conflict situations, we each have an opportunity to be narcissistic to protect ourselves or as defense mechanisms. These are isolated events. However, narcissism is consistent, chronic, and pathological. It follows a distinct pattern.
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10 Steps For Surviving A Narcissistic Breakup!
Watch this video:
Please understand that there is so much going on mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically and most of all – spiritually.
Spiritually, your soul is being torn and ripped away from the narcissist. You will feel antagonizing pain as the separation occurs.
Physiologically, your body is coming down from the high levels of serotonin and oxytocin that were produced from being lovebombed and manipulated by a narcissist. It is akin to coming off of drug addiction. You must get through the initial pain for greater gain.
Emotionally, it is normal to be a wreck as your emotions will be all over the place. You still battle your own self. It is a spiritual and mental battle between your heart and mind. Jeremiah 17:9 declares firmly, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick, who can understand it?”
Psychologically, your mind is attempting to process what has occurred to you. You cannot wrap your mind around how this person studied, mirrored, duped you into believing their false person.
You may have falsely believed that God is going to miraculously save YOUR narcissist. Yes, God is omnipresent and omnipotent! He can absolutely do anything! But He is not in witchcraft and fooling people into salvation and being set free from demons. Those who are delivered must WANT deliverance. And narcissists, especially those in church, confess Christ with their mouths, but their hearts are far removed from Him. Do not believe words, believe ACTIONS.
They “suppress the truth by their wickedness.” It is against these people that the wrath of God occurs (Romans 1:18). The Greek word translated “reprobate” in the New Testament is adokimos, which means “unapproved, refused; by implication, worthless.”
Romans 1:28, “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.”
Psalm 119:115, “Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of my God.”
YOUR DESTINY IS NOT TIED TO DEMONS!
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Clubhouse Notes: March 9th
Abuse is not only physical. Abuse can be emotional, verbal, sexual, emotional, sexual, financial, & spiritual as well. Emotional abuse just does as much damage internally as physical abuse.
Tips
- Protect yourself at all costs – begin to see yourself as an overcomer. This is how God sees you.
- Love is not abuse and love & abuse do not coexist.
- When you operate in a self-love deficit or have been groomed to have a high tolerance for abuse, you may gaslight yourself and fall prey to a narcissistic predator.
Narcissists lovebomb their prey so that when the mask slips, the victim feels that they are in too deep & work to “help” the narcissistic predator.
- The narcissist does not want your help. Narcissists feel empowered by their false selves. The inner child is inside, but they have essentially killed off that person because they truly view themselves as weak. The demons inside of them reign and rule & provide them the voice they feel they need.
- They are highly insecure and jealous of others. They are attracted to unhealed empaths, as empaths are unaware of their true power, light, and strength. Narcissists feed and siphon the empaths spirit by creating an ungodly soul tie and through witchcraft.
- They will likely never repent and submit to God’s true authority. This means even if they are aware that they are narcissists, eventually, they will revert back to their demonic nature of lying, scheming, and controlling others through deception.
- Narcissists need supply and attention like we need air. They are empty voids of vapid nothingness. The only way they feel alive and empowered is when they are causing chaos and destruction in the lives of others.
- Forgiving narcissists does not mean that you have to rebuild the relationship. You can love from a distance, regardless of who it is. (Relatives included.) The bible instructs us time and time again to get away from evildoers. “Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of my God.” Psalm 119:115
Key takeaways
- You are worthy of true love and setting boundaries for yourself and others. Set boundaries and work on not being afraid of other people rejecting, misunderstanding, or not liking you.
- No Contact is not the silent treatment! No Contact is implemented to protect yourself spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically.
- Build your A-Team! Surround yourself with your tribe of supporters. Not everyone will understand what you are going through.
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Expect extreme backlash, because you have caused ego injury and the narcissist must now destroy you. They will pay you back for your love and kindness in the form of passive-aggressiveness, blatant character assassination, & a smear campaign (at the very least.)
- Understand that you are wrestling with demons. You are not interacting with a normal, rational person. Keep this at the forefront of your mind.
- Be kind to yourself; if you fall down 9 times get up ten. You are a warrior!
- Remember, now your life is switching from focusing on the narcissist to focusing on you.
- As much as possible, do not react to the narcissist. Grey Rock is your friend. Keep in mind they are going to say and do whatever it takes to get under your skin. They are going to go low & hit below the belt. EXPECT IT when engaging a narcissistic person.
- Whenever you are face to face with a narcissist, find an escape route. Narcissists do not respond kindly to ego injuries and the harm that follows, are meant to hurt the target — you!
- Find a therapist who specializes or understands narcissist abuse.
- If you need legal counsel, ensure you try to find an attorney who specializes in resolving high-conflict cases.
- When in therapy, get to the root & discuss your trauma, childhood, codependency, and self-love deficit
- Find the tribe that helps you in self-protection and personal, emotional, & psychological recovery.
- When you find yourself remembering only the good times and missing the narcissistic demon, understand that you are more afraid of rejection & being alone/lonely versus being hurt again.
- The more you heal, the more you protect yourself, the more you self-soothe, and not turn to destructive behaviors, the more you enforce boundaries, the more you show yourself & the world that you are protecting & preserving yourself just as Christ did.
Books
Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters – A Guide For Separation, Liberation, & Inspiration by Karen C.L. Anderson
Deliverance & Spiritual Warfare by John Eckhardt
Women’s Daily Declarations For Spiritual Warfare by John Eckhardt
Pigs In The Parlor by Frank & Ida Mae Hammond
Spiritual Warfare Strongman’s His Name…What’s His Game? by Drs. Jerry & Carol Robeson
Jezebellion The Warrior’s Guide To Identifying the Jezebel Spirit by Tiffany Buckner
For additional helpful content, please subscribe to the Narc Free Living Youtube channel and watch the video on Spiritual Warfare. https://youtu.be/UcYR2XaP9ZQ
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The Narcissist’s Dream Team
Are you on the Narcissist’s Dream Team roster?
Narcissists have what I dubbed the “Narcissist’s Dream Team.” Each person in the narcissist’s circle fulfills a distinct role
Narcissists seek out those with talents, skills, and specialties that they can manipulate for their benefit. They build a well-calculated team of enablers and supporters.
Romans 16:17-18 I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18 For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery, they deceive the minds of naive people.
● The General Managers (GMs) – Narcissistic parents are the GMs of the Narcissist’s Dream Team (NDT). The narcissist was groomed to be a narcissist by the GM(s). They formed the narcissist in their image through entitlement or emotional abuse/neglect.
● The Most Valuable Player – The MVP is the Main Supply of the narcissist. The MVP is the primary enabler or oblivious spouse, partner, friend, family, etc. that provides the resources & upholds the perfect image to the world. This is usually a wounded & unhealed empath who was also groomed by a narcissistic parent(s), unbeknownst and unaware to them.
● The Team – The Flying Monkeys do the narcissist’s dirty work. They write emails, sent evil text messages, and run the smear campaign. They uphold the narcissists regardless of what the narcissist does. They support the narcissist and do not hold them accountable for the harm they do to their victims. They do not discern the demonic spirits operating in the narcissists.
● The Bench – The Bench contains the Backup Sources of Supply (side pieces, unsuspecting enablers, family members, friends, etc.). They make excuses for the narcissist and may be unaware to the evil they are supporting. However, most Bench members will continue to look the other way.
They make statements like, “There are two sides to every story.” (While never attempting to reach out for your side of the story and even if they do, they still believe the lies of the narcissist. The Bench contains Fanboys and Fangirls who cheer on the narcissist from the sidelines.
● The Injured Reserve | Inactive List – Consists of the exes, Forever Supply, The “Ones” That Got Away, the people who the narcissist can charm and easily manipulate without much work. Those on the Inactive List are just waiting for a shot to join the team or take the MVP’s spot on the NDT.
Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
It’s time to come off the bench Chain Breakers! Let’s break those chains.
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What Are Soul Ties?
Let’s discuss soul ties….Join me on YouTube on Sundays at 7 pm CST (8 pm EST / 6 pm MST / 5 pm PST)
Video duration: 17 minutes
Discussed in the video:
* What are soul ties?
* How do I know if I am in a soul tie?
* What steps do I need to take to be spiritually delivered?
* How do I maintain my deliverance?
If you are or have been in a narcissistic relationship, recovering from a toxic relationship of any kind, or have wisdom to share, this is a discussion for you.
If you are ready to be set free, this is the discussion for you.
Subscribe to the Narc Free Living YouTube channel. Hit the bell notification to receive alerts for new videos. 🔔
Let’s break those chains!
Photo credit: How To Break Demonic Soul Ties
Uploaded by: Rabbi Hadassah Ryklin, Aug 23, 2016
