Narc Free Living®

How To Spot Narcissistic Abuse And Free Yourself

Author & Advocate: Shannon Savoy

Please check out this week’s feature article in Safe Speaks on “How To Spot Narcissist Abuse & How To Break Free.”

If you believe you are a victim of narcissist abuse, or you are not quite sure, this article is for you. Also, if you just want to learn more so that you & your loved ones know the signs & that you are more aware, this is for you as well.

Let’s break those chains!

Safe Speaks is a digital safe space for gender-based violence awareness, advocacy, empowerment, and healing. Safe Speaks is coordinated by Ms. Edith Mecha, creative writer, social science researcher, and civic change advocate.

Read the article here:

https://safespeaks.org/2021/03/16/how-to-spot-narcissistic-abuse-and-free-yourself/

Watch this video:

https://youtu.be/bJFfBNmIG28

Please understand that there is so much going on mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically and most of all –  spiritually.

Spiritually, your soul is being torn and ripped away from the narcissist. You will feel antagonizing pain as the separation occurs.

Physiologically, your body is coming down from the high levels of serotonin and oxytocin that were produced from being lovebombed and manipulated by a narcissist. It is akin to coming off of drug addiction. You must get through the initial pain for greater gain.

Emotionally, it is normal to be a wreck as your emotions will be all over the place. You still battle your own self. It is a spiritual and mental battle between your heart and mind. Jeremiah 17:9 declares firmly, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick, who can understand it?”

Psychologically, your mind is attempting to process what has occurred to you. You cannot wrap your mind around how this person studied, mirrored, duped you into believing their false person.

You may have falsely believed that God is going to miraculously save YOUR narcissist. Yes, God is omnipresent and omnipotent! He can absolutely do anything! But He is not in witchcraft and fooling people into salvation and being set free from demons. Those who are delivered must WANT deliverance. And narcissists, especially those in church, confess Christ with their mouths, but their hearts are far removed from Him. Do not believe words, believe ACTIONS.

They “suppress the truth by their wickedness.” It is against these people that the wrath of God occurs (Romans 1:18). The Greek word translated “reprobate” in the New Testament is adokimos, which means “unapproved, refused; by implication, worthless.”

Romans 1:28, “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.”

Psalm 119:115, “Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of my God.”

YOUR DESTINY IS NOT TIED TO DEMONS!

Abuse is not only physical. Abuse can be emotional, verbal,  sexual,  emotional, sexual, financial, & spiritual as well. Emotional abuse just does as much damage internally as physical abuse.

Tips

• Protect yourself at all costs – begin to see yourself as an overcomer. This is how God sees you.
• Love is not abuse and love & abuse do not coexist.
• When you operate in a self-love deficit or have been groomed to have a high tolerance for abuse, you may gaslight yourself and fall prey to a narcissistic predator.

Narcissists lovebomb their prey so that when the mask slips, the victim feels that they are in too deep & work to “help” the narcissistic predator.

• The narcissist does not want your help. Narcissists feel empowered by their false selves. The inner child is inside, but they have essentially killed off that person because they truly view themselves as weak. The demons inside of them reign and rule & provide them the voice they feel they need.

• They are highly insecure and jealous of others. They are attracted to unhealed empaths, as empaths are unaware of their true power, light, and strength. Narcissists feed and siphon the empaths spirit by creating an ungodly soul tie and through witchcraft.

• They will likely never repent and submit to God’s true authority. This means even if they are aware that they are narcissists, eventually, they will revert back to their demonic nature of lying, scheming, and controlling others through deception.

• Narcissists need supply and attention like we need air. They are empty voids of vapid nothingness. The only way they feel alive and empowered is when they are causing chaos and destruction in the lives of others.

• Forgiving narcissists does not mean that you have to rebuild the relationship. You can love from a distance, regardless of who it is. (Relatives included.) The bible instructs us time and time again to get away from evildoers. “Depart from me, ye evildoers: for I will keep the commandments of my God.” Psalm 119:115

Key takeaways

1. You are worthy of true love and setting boundaries for yourself and others. Set boundaries and work on not being afraid of other people rejecting, misunderstanding, or not liking you.
2. No Contact is not the silent treatment! No Contact is implemented to protect yourself spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically.
3. Build your A-Team! Surround yourself with your tribe of supporters. Not everyone will understand what you are going through.

4. Expect extreme backlash, because you have caused ego injury and the narcissist must now destroy you. They will pay you back for your love and kindness in the form of passive-aggressiveness, blatant character assassination, & a smear campaign (at the very least.)

5. Understand that you are wrestling with demons. You are not interacting with a normal, rational person. Keep this at the forefront of your mind.
6. Be kind to yourself; if you fall down 9 times get up ten. You are a warrior!
7. Remember, now your life is switching from focusing on the narcissist to focusing on you.
8. As much as possible, do not react to the narcissist. Grey Rock is your friend. Keep in mind they are going to say and do whatever it takes to get under your skin. They are going to go low & hit below the belt. EXPECT IT when engaging a narcissistic person.
9. Whenever you are face to face with a narcissist, find an escape route.  Narcissists do not respond kindly to ego injuries and the harm that follows, are meant to hurt the target — you!
10. Find a therapist who specializes or understands narcissist abuse.
11. If you need legal counsel, ensure you try to find an attorney who specializes in resolving high-conflict cases.
12. When in therapy, get to the root & discuss your trauma, childhood, codependency, and self-love deficit
13. Find the tribe that helps you in self-protection and personal, emotional, & psychological recovery.
14. When you find yourself remembering only the good times and missing the narcissistic demon, understand that you are more afraid of rejection & being alone/lonely versus being hurt again.
15. The more you heal, the more you protect yourself, the more you self-soothe, and not turn to destructive behaviors, the more you enforce boundaries, the more you show yourself & the world that you are protecting & preserving yourself just as Christ did.

Books

Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft

Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters – A Guide For Separation, Liberation, & Inspiration by Karen C.L. Anderson

Deliverance & Spiritual Warfare by John Eckhardt

Women’s Daily Declarations For Spiritual Warfare by John Eckhardt

Pigs In The Parlor by Frank & Ida Mae Hammond

Spiritual Warfare Strongman’s His Name…What’s His Game? by Drs. Jerry & Carol Robeson

Jezebellion The Warrior’s Guide To Identifying the Jezebel Spirit by Tiffany Buckner

For additional helpful content, please subscribe to the Narc Free Living Youtube channel and watch the video on Spiritual Warfare.  https://youtu.be/UcYR2XaP9ZQ